[i can't figure out how to edit, so eff you for making fun of it.]

you know, i am that person. the one that messes up the punchline by leaving out the detail. worse off, it was my own detail toward my own pathetic punchline. sorry about the lack of commitment to you faithful few (who am I kidding? there’s only one…) that read this.
for clarification, please notice the 31st-33rd words, not including “this just in” nor punctuation, but certainly counting the numbers. Numbers are words too. Kids are people too…



this just in:

walmart pays the children in the sweatshops of asia 1 cent a year to melt the chocolate for the candy bars, those that you purchase at a low 49 cents, with their breath. now that’s a middle age crisis for a candy bar.